Can my kid learn music if I am not musical: Advantages and Disadvantages
Non-Musical Parenting Myths (Assumptions)The most common myths we get at Muso from non-musical parents are:
- "I don't know any music, so I won't be able to practice with my kid"
- "Only musical parents can help with musical studies"
- "Music prodigies are only made by musical parents"
The Truth
Whilst there could be some positive advantages to the statements above (as per example with composers like Bach and Bartok) or toxic advantages (as per example Mozart, Beethoven or stories of tiger parenting you hear now), Muso-Method believes the best supportive parent is the kind that does not know any music.
Why is it better to be a non-musical parent?
5 Advantages of most non-musical parents:
1. Supportive
2. Patient
3. Instruction (gives instructions, instead of answers)
4. Encourage "working as a team" personality
5. Cannot demonstrate, so the child needs to "figure it out" themselves
5 disadvantages of most musical parents:
1. Impatient
2. "Know-it-all" (gives the answers to their kids, like note reading)
3. Short-tempered
4. Builds a toxic "listen to me or fear me" personality
5. Demonstrates, so the child just "copies their hands" and become dependent on their parent
So, How to Help My Kid When I Don't Know Music?
We LOVE that you are reading this blog and creating positive reinforcement. That is what Muso-Method Pedagogy is all about! Here are a few suggestions for how to help your child with music even if you don't have much musical knowledge yourself:
1. Encourage and Attend 1-on-1 Lessons: Enroll your child in music lessons with a qualified music teacher with a GOOD reputation. Even if you don't know music, you can support your child by ensuring they attend lessons regularly and practice at home together. This includes sitting in the room of the lesson and practice sessions. If you do this, then the kid will see music lessons as "valuable" versus leaving them to attend the 1-on-1 lesson on their own.
2. Attend Performances: Make an effort to attend your child's musical performances, recitals, and concerts. Your presence and encouragement will mean a lot to them. Again, this will create a sense of value for them - which will encourage them to work hard and gain confidence in comparison to attending the concert themselves.
3. Listen Together: Set aside time to listen to your child's musical practice and performance. Ask them questions about what they are learning and offer positive feedback.
4. Provide Resources: Follow the guidance of your teacher and invest in quality instruments, music books, and other resources to support your child's musical development. You don't need to understand the material, but having the right tools can make a big difference. Examples include acoustic piano (good) vs digital piano (not good), adjustable piano stool (good),
5. Engage with Music: Explore music together as a family. Attend local concerts, visit music stores, or listen to a variety of music genres at home. This can help your child see music as an enjoyable and enriching activity.
6. Connect with Other Parents: Reach out to other parents of music students to share experiences and advice. You can learn from their perspectives and support each other.
7. Set a Good Practice Routine: The biggest thing you are teaching your kid isn't actually music itself, but how to create a good routine and plan to achieve your goals short-term (learning pieces) and long-term (performances). Once they start understanding how to get organised, independent and create a good routine - they will be able to achieve ANYTHING in the long run!
The most important thing is to show your child that you value their musical interests and are willing to support them, even if you don't have personal musical expertise. With your encouragement and following the guidance of a good teacher, your child can thrive in their musical pursuits.
What's the true goal of becoming a music student?
In short, it is to love and play music forever.
This is why your kid, at a young age, needs to actually learn their musical instrument by themselves. Read notes by themselves, take books out by themselves, understand music interpretation by themselves... the list goes on. If they can't sight read their own music - they will be limited to some pieces or songs in the long run. This is applied for ANY instrument, especially guitarists who I've met that can only play chords but can't play 'solo' parts due to lack of scale practice and inability to read music notes.
What's the true goal of being a 'supportive parent' for a music student? Because kids are so young, they do not have the ability to create a schedule for themselves or understand routine. So as a parent, your real job is point number 7: To set a GOOD practice routine.
If you are a busy parent, you need to help set a good routine for 6 months up to 2 years depending on the nature of your child. This means they also have to learn how to start setting up the schedule themselves, rather than "follow your instructions". It's also best if this is applied to all homework or other activities in their lives, including play/relax time. Once they start getting independent, this will make your life a lot easier. However, you would need to understand that the downfall of this independence is that their way of thinking will be different to yours - so they may take a bit 'longer' to achieve the same results without you (e.g. passing a piece).
Listening to classical music and watching/participating in performances are also just as important. So if you want your child to experience a positive music learning journey, ensure you put your child before your job! And if you can't - set realistic expectations. Make sure you stay tuned for our upcoming blog about this.
Please remember, there are always 'exceptions' and 'outliers'. There will always be that 'one kid' who can be organised by themselves with the most disorganised parent in the world. Or that 'one kid' who is a fast runner with the most unhealthy parent. But you cannot bet that your kid will meet your expectations and be that 'one genius without parental influence'. This is very very rare, and contexts are also always variable.
What does it mean to 'Create a Practice Routine Together'?
Treat your child as if they are a new 'adult trainee' at your job. You first help them with their terminology (music note reading), and like a trainer, you give them points and reminders - but you don't ever do the job for them (tell them the music notes).
After, you tell them their schedules (work timetable/practice sessions). For example, if your job is a baker is at the bakery, you 'train' the new trainee how to unpack the shop for 10 mins (i.e. unpack the music bag in 1 minute), prepare the ingredients for 5 mins (i.e. take out the music books for 1 minute), turn on the oven (i.e. set up the piano), prepare all the bread dough mixture for 30 mins (i.e. run through the Muso Flash Cards for 10 minutes), bake the bread for 3 hours (i.e. play technical work and pieces for 20 minutes) etc. You apply the 'I Do, We Do, You Do' rule to the new trainee.
This will help the kid excel and complete their music journey faster before the big exams from high school kick in. And most importantly, they will learn to be an amazing independent human who will LOVE classical music.
Good luck Muso family!